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Rod Blagojevich: One Man Circus

Who is this guy? Why is he on the news every day? And more importantly, who does his hair?

On December 9, 2008, Rod Blagojevich, the governor of Illinois, was arrested for mail and wire fraud, bribery, and allegedly trying to auction off Obama’s senate seat to the highest bidder. He now faces a possible 30 years in prison. Much of the evidence consists of tapes of phone conversations recorded by the FBI. Soon after, the House of Representatives voted to impeach him.

Blagojevich claims to be the victim of an attack by fellow lawmakers. He has recently been going from talk show to talk show trying to save his reputation. It seems to me that he is just giving the press and entertained bloggers like me more reasons to poke fun at him (other than just his ridiculous hair). He recently admitted that he considered Oprah Winfrey for the Senate position because she “had a much broader bully pulpit than a lot of senators.”

I’m going to have to side with Chicago Mayor Richard Daley, who called Blagojevich “cuckoo.” Others have accused him of being “ridiculously egotistical” and even “clearly pathological.”

Last week, Blagojevich compared his indictment to the Pearl Harbor attacks. He then correlated his own actions to those of President Roosevelt. Does that make sense to you? Ya… me either.

He then went on to compare himself to an honest, hardworking cowboy about to be lynched by the political insiders. He ranted on about this analogy saying that he is like a cowboy falsely accused of stealing a horse. (See end of blog for more of his cowboy rant).

When anybody asks him any question regarding the case, he says “Whatever happened to the presumption of innocence?” While Obama has called for the governor’s resignation, Blagojevich instead continues to work on bail.

And when Larry King calls him out by saying that some of the comments from the federal wiretaps sounded “bad.” Blagojevich responded by saying “Oh, of course it sounds bad. But Think about some of the private conversations you might have on the telephone… You can take all kinds of things out of context.” Uh…. Really, Rod? The FBI has been on Blogojevich’s case for years… and he knew it. So, maybe having phone conversations about handing over the Senate seat to the highest bidder wasn’t the best idea.

I’m torn on this issue. While I believe we should probably kick this nut-job out of any public office, I am going to miss his random appearances on talk shows, his irrelevant analogies, and more than anything… I’m going to miss his hair.

The Cowboy Rant:

“ There was an old saying in the Old West: There was a cowboy who was charged with stealing a horse in town and some of the other cowboys, especially the guy whose horse was stolen, were very unhappy with that guy. One of the cowboys said ‘Let’s hang him.’ And the other cowboys said, ‘Hold on. Before we hang him, let’s first give him a fair trial, then we’ll hang him.’…

Under these rules, Rule 15F and Rule 8B, under that fact pattern I just gave you, if the cowboy who’s charged with stealing a horse was charged with doing that in town, but in fact on the date and time that he apparently stole the horse in town, he was on the ranch with six other cowboys herding cattle and roping steers.

And then he expects that when his day comes to go to court he can bring those six cowboys to say it wasn’t him because he wasn’t in town, he was on the ranch herding cattle, even if he could bring those cowboys in to say that, under these rules, under 8B”

Internet Video Superstars!

By Billy Hanrahan
Alumni ‘07

Photo Credit: Google Images

Chris Crocker - This nut job published a video on YouTube and scared the living crap out of everyone who watched it. This demon-looking school girl from the middle ages cries to the media to “leave Britney alone.” He was ripped apart by the internet community, but he continues to make this horrific vlogs (video logs) and post them for all of us to enjoy.

Photo Credit: Google Images

Obama Girl- This sexy political activist got more people interested in the election than the founding fathers. Her “I Got a Crush… On Obama” song earned her interviews on FOX and MSNBC. She also sparked a political trend creating several other presidential mascots if you will, including the Giuliani Girl and the Ron Paul Girl.

 

 

Photo Credit: Google Images

 

 

Philippine Inmates- These Philippine inmates may be locked behind bars for a majority of their life but when they get out you can be sure they’ll have a job on MTV. They choreographed an entire dance to the 1982 Michael Jackson song “Thriller.” When the video was released on YouTube, they became over-net superstars. You can also find them dancing to Laura Branigan’s “Gloria,” Soulja Boy’s “Crank That (Soulja Boy)” and MC Hammer’s “Can’t Touch This.”

Photo Credit: Google Images

 

OK Go Guys- Talk about thinking outside of the box — these guys choreographed their music video on treadmills. The “treadmill dancers” made it big on the Internet with 33million plus views on YouTube. They were later asked to perform at the 2006 MTV Video Music Awards. This video earned them a name in the music biz and a Grammy!

 

 

 

Photo Credit: Google Images

Miss Teen USA South Carolina- Damn her accent is hot, but listening to her speak makes me stupiderer. She already had a lot going for her before this video emerged, but this spread across the web like an air borne virus that gave people speech impediments. “Everywhere like such as and…” Ahhh, my brain just exploded. Watch the video.

 

 

 

 

 

Photo Credit: Google Images

 

 

My New Haircut Guy- This is something I am unfortunately far too familiar with. My new haircut was developed to make fun of the John Gotti wannabees of Long Island, Queens and Jersey shore area. It did a damn good job racking up more than 14 million hits on the web and generating several copycats such as the Asian, Jewish, black and senior citizen editions.

 

 

 

 

Photo Credit: Google Images

Samwell- This guy is an airline steward for US Airways. Apparently he doesn’t really talk how he sings, but he is gayer as two ends of a bread loaf. He made this video about putting “what what” in his butt. This video hit it so big that South Park ripped it off and made a Butters version of it. Though I haven’t concluded what’s worse, an elementary school cartoon student singing these lyrics or a steward who will probably serve you a few drinks on your next flight.

 

 

Photo Credit: Google Images

 

 

Evolution of dance- In probably one of the most original comic routines I have ever seen, Judson Laipply covers every dance craze of the past sixty years from Elvis Presley and Chubby Checker to Vanilla Ice and the Backstreet Boys. This clip racked up an astonishing 92 million views online and is the reason our parents know how to break dance (or break hips).

 

 

 

 

Photo Credit: Google Images

Ron Paul- This Republican presidential candidate sparked an Internet revolution once people heard what he had to say. His epic videos and inspirational speeches caused such controversy that FOX news allegedly didn’t invite him to one of the debates because of his grassroots following. Oh, did I mention he raised more than six million dollars in one day online alone?

 

Photo Credit: Google Images

 

 

 

Charlie- “Charlie bit my finger.” These two little kids became an Internet phenomenon over night after they were taped just being themselves. When Charlie bit his brother’s finger, his brother, in a hilarious British accent, nearly cried the English Channel. Then Charlie laughed it off as if it was nothing. After 20 million views, Charlie is still laughing.

 

 

 

 

Other great Internet Superstars
Tila Tequila- She got herself a bisexual dating show on VH1.
Perez Hilton- celebrity blogger
The Landlord- Will farrell’s baby landlord — “I want my money.”
Kelly Shoes
Gary Brolsma - Numa Numa kid
Gino the Ginny – Another attempt to make fun of the NY/NJ Italians.