You know your dating a D-Bag when….

By Alexandra Paul

Your boyfriend is probably a D-bag if…

•  he asks if his faux-hawk is even on each side.
•  he refuses to work out his lower body even though his arms have the same circumference as basketballs.
•  he buys a monthly tanning package.
•  he submits anyone’s picture to the Dirty.
•  all he eats is protein.
•  he never calls his mom.
•  he can’t laugh at himself.
•  he talks crap about his friends.
•  he talks crap about your friends.
•  all of his friends are douches.
•  he hates it when you go out with your friends.
•  he thinks that women belong only in the kitchen.
•  he can’t drink without drinking way too much.
•  he is mean to animals.
•  he waxes his arms, legs, back, eyebrows, and fingers.

If your guy does any or all of these things… you may be dating a douche.  It might be wise to reconsider your guy; we are confident that you will find someone better, and less douchey, if you just step away from the loser (and all of his frat bros).